If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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