office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
