Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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