guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
