butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
