According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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