So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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