how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Rumble strips road head = magical
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Randomize
