It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
