I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize
