Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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