walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
