What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
