you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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