I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Randomize
