I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Gay?
German.
Pity.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
