We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
