If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
