i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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