I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
