Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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