i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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