If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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