gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
