it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
