and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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