So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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