im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
