VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize
