Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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