You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
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