there was a trapeze. enough said
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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