i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I think my moral compass just broke
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
