its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i came on her dog
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
