i think my mom watched the whole time
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
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