I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
