i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
