Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Randomize
