And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
