i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
