It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
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