so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize
