Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
