I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
