I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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