I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Randomize
