he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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