I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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