honey bunches of taint.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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