lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
