HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
My ATM looks so different sober.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Randomize
