they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
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